I don't know what's worse - the fact that you listen to Taylor Swift to "Calm yourself down" or the fact that you know what makes you feel better when shit like this happens..

I'll ride it out.

I'm not ok. I'm really not. No matter how hard I try to be, I know that I'm not. I can't do this any more, I just can't. I"m so goddamned fucking sick of all of this shit. I hate her. I hate this. I can't do this any more. I want to leave, I want to run as far a fucking way as I can, and I don't want to stop. I can't do this any more. I just can't.

It's like the shards of a mirror, all scattered around, glimmering and suggesting a life once had, small glances of images past. Like a puddle in the rain, rippling and distorting the image. I supposed, it's not rain any more. It's now the sludgy remains of liquefaction. The house is not safe. Neither am I. We no longer stands up, not by ourselves. There are some good days, and some bad. More bad than other, now. I just want to have piece, a few moments to get away from it all. But the more the moments, the harder it is to return to reality. I was fine, today. And then reality hit, with that phone call from mum. But I wasn't about to let it ruin anything xx

But reality has struck again. And I want out of it. I need out of it. But there's nothing that anything can do to fix it at the moment. I'll just have to ride it out, like a good girl :)

I will ride it out. I always do :) There's nothing else to do, now, but ride  it out.