Thursday, 9 December 2010
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Breathing.
could you come a little closer? slide that way you slide, so shy, wanting mouth open, try to suck in enough air to pacify the limits of lungs so useless in the dark mantle of these deeds, haunting your fingertips as they trace the contours of my lips, speaking too deaf silence closer my love, there will be no more breathing: quiet these vain protests echoing past the dying candle; nononononono, i don’t want this any more than you want the icy prongs of betrayal along the spine, harrowing soil to bear the fruit of your transgressions, elevated in your judas gaze; oh, darling, this heat is consuming the oxygen in the room of four, volatile hatred turned to lust; oh, woe are we caught in the movements that drag our tongues together, choking each other to the rhythm of two hearts bleeding into a single pool of glimmering vice.
- Fu-zu Jen, 7.13.99
- Fu-zu Jen, 7.13.99
Friday, 3 December 2010
OK, my dream last night was really
well, I would say weird. But it was so fantastic.
One of those ones where you really hate to get up.
I was part of this big competition. A food making one. We got given a list of ingredients once, had to remember them, and then make this dish, but we only got the title as to guess what it was. And I was running around like a mad thing trying to figure out what these ingredients were - we ended up with pickled onions, tortilla wraps, olives and something else... I think we were suppose to make a pie for some reason. I was all set to win this on, I was really confident. I saw cook, and went over to help her with her ingredients. She had flour because someone had told her that they were making a pastry. I looked around and saw that everyone had those ingredients, so I quickly followed suit, and scolded myself for not listening hard enough to the ingredients, although I had been SURE that there was only three or four ingredients read out. I thought, Tomorrow, I will pay more attention, I'll have a pen and pad, and I shall win this.
Got back to my station, and Liz and Anna were next to me.
"I thought that we were supposed to work by ourselves?"
"We are," Liz replied. "But I doubt that they'll come and check on us."
"Clever," I laughed.
And then I felt that all to familiar hand around my neck. I turned around thinking Brodie, but saw Edward. I would have thought that my heart would've sank, but it didn't. It leapt higher than it ever has before, and he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. Even though he'd just broken my heart so much, I was still so happy to see him. And we laughed, and rolled around on the floor kissing in this massive warehouse that we were in. I knew that Edward was Brodie. But the change of facial appearances made it all right. And we spent the next two hours like that, when I should have been cooking. I was just in his arms again, and it felt so right.
But, soon, I began to think, "What if people see us together like this? You left me. What are they all going to say?"
"Well, then, you say: 'He's come back! And I am taking him back!' That's what you say."
"But, what about my boyfriend?"
"Tell him he's dumped. You don't need him any more, you've got me." And he smiled that oh, so charming smile that he does. But my rational thought was coming back to me. "You said that the passion has all gone. Usually when somebody says that, it's completely and one hundred percent over." To which, the bastard replied as he put his hand on my neck once more, which melted all my worries, and made me stop worrying, "But, this is what you want now, isn't it? Everything that you once had back to the way it was, and in full glory?"
Bastard. I nodded in a very dazed fashion, just so glad to have his skin on mine again.
And he left. I had neglected my cooking, so I had a lot to catch up on. Apparently, it only took 25 minutes to make. Why we had two hours, I don't know. But it could have just felt like that. And once again, I was left with a decision. Who do I choose? After all the grief he's caused me, do I go back?
Of course, before I can get my answer, someone texts my phone (Which I am yet to find) and I snap out of it. Bastards.
But, still. I want to know... If he does come back, do I take him?
well, I would say weird. But it was so fantastic.
One of those ones where you really hate to get up.
I was part of this big competition. A food making one. We got given a list of ingredients once, had to remember them, and then make this dish, but we only got the title as to guess what it was. And I was running around like a mad thing trying to figure out what these ingredients were - we ended up with pickled onions, tortilla wraps, olives and something else... I think we were suppose to make a pie for some reason. I was all set to win this on, I was really confident. I saw cook, and went over to help her with her ingredients. She had flour because someone had told her that they were making a pastry. I looked around and saw that everyone had those ingredients, so I quickly followed suit, and scolded myself for not listening hard enough to the ingredients, although I had been SURE that there was only three or four ingredients read out. I thought, Tomorrow, I will pay more attention, I'll have a pen and pad, and I shall win this.
Got back to my station, and Liz and Anna were next to me.
"I thought that we were supposed to work by ourselves?"
"We are," Liz replied. "But I doubt that they'll come and check on us."
"Clever," I laughed.
And then I felt that all to familiar hand around my neck. I turned around thinking Brodie, but saw Edward. I would have thought that my heart would've sank, but it didn't. It leapt higher than it ever has before, and he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. Even though he'd just broken my heart so much, I was still so happy to see him. And we laughed, and rolled around on the floor kissing in this massive warehouse that we were in. I knew that Edward was Brodie. But the change of facial appearances made it all right. And we spent the next two hours like that, when I should have been cooking. I was just in his arms again, and it felt so right.
But, soon, I began to think, "What if people see us together like this? You left me. What are they all going to say?"
"Well, then, you say: 'He's come back! And I am taking him back!' That's what you say."
"But, what about my boyfriend?"
"Tell him he's dumped. You don't need him any more, you've got me." And he smiled that oh, so charming smile that he does. But my rational thought was coming back to me. "You said that the passion has all gone. Usually when somebody says that, it's completely and one hundred percent over." To which, the bastard replied as he put his hand on my neck once more, which melted all my worries, and made me stop worrying, "But, this is what you want now, isn't it? Everything that you once had back to the way it was, and in full glory?"
Bastard. I nodded in a very dazed fashion, just so glad to have his skin on mine again.
And he left. I had neglected my cooking, so I had a lot to catch up on. Apparently, it only took 25 minutes to make. Why we had two hours, I don't know. But it could have just felt like that. And once again, I was left with a decision. Who do I choose? After all the grief he's caused me, do I go back?
Of course, before I can get my answer, someone texts my phone (Which I am yet to find) and I snap out of it. Bastards.
But, still. I want to know... If he does come back, do I take him?
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