I had a dream last night, one of those really vivid ones. The type where when you're in the dream, that's all that matters. I dreamt that I was back at girls high. Me now, at Girls High. But, my hair was a wee bit longer, so I could tie it up, and make it look nice. And I was getting into uniform, and conforming. And, then, I got to girls high, and I had no idea what my classes were, so I had to go and ask at the office for a print out, and they gave me five really weird sheets, with all my classes on them. But, then it went dark, and I couldn't read them. And I wasn't in my uniform any more. I was in these really cool jeans, which I had just put on right there in the hallway. I put my shirt on top, and then my kilt - no tie - and got my cell phone out in order to find out which class I had. It was Tuesday, I'd been at drama the day before, and I hadn't yet told Fiona what was happening. That I couldn't do it any more, but I was going to try my damnedest to get to both. The sheet said I had History with Miss. Hornsy. And I was freaking out, because I had no tie, I couldn't see anyone I knew, and I was going back to them. I suddenly realised that my hair was up, and quickly yanked it down, and straightened it up. But, I was worried that it'd be below my collar, and I'd have to tie it back up again. But, fuck them, I thought. It's my hair, I am not conforming. I went into the class, just as Hornsy was taking the roll. I came in just as she said my name, and I stood there awkwardly. I took a seat in the dark, by myself, to later realise I was sitting next to Amberley and Anne. They had done so much in class, so much work in History, and I had done nothing, and there was no way in hell that I was going to make up the time, and Hornsy wasn't going to help me. And for some reason Stevo was in there, and Amberley was like, Oi, dude, what the hell is that doing in here. And to make it look like I wasn't nervous as fuck, I pulled myself together as much as I could, said, he was probably missing me, and then proceeded to go back to shitting myself internally.

I had no idea what I was going to do, I was going to fail this year miseribly, I was going to let down Fiona and everyone in Drama, I had no idea how to write an essay for History, and I was hating my mother for making me fail the year. I didn't know what I could do.

And it was one of those dreams where you wake up, and are bolt up right.