Last night, I had a dream. I had a baby. A beautiful baby girl. I had her without my mother knowing. And, also without ever having sex, lol. I managed to do it all without mum knowing, and I brought her to school the next day. I hadn't named her yet. And, for some reason, I gave her to Fern. For two months. And, when I got her back, it was like her mind was two years ahead. She had teeth. She could talk. But I loved her. So, so much. I carried her around in my arms, and never wanted to let go. But, then, I was walking to drama. I went out along the street to get there, because the grass was still roped off. And she said that she was hungry, so I went to head back to the cafe, to go and get her some food - she had told me that Fern had fed her normal food - but Mum came along, and I had to get into the car (for some reason she knew that I had a baby now) and I couldn't get her food, or a drink. She said that she was so thirsty. But, I had to tell her to wait, and I felt so bad for her. She was so small, and fragile. And, when she didn't get water, she shrivelled up. And she nearly died, and I had to do this weird thing, where I pretty much had to drown her in water to make her drink. I felt like I failed as a woman, as a mother, as everything. And I couldn't take it.
She was my little bundle of joy, she was my baby. She didn't even have a name, she didn't have a birth certificate, she was no one. She was dying. And I couldn't do anything to help her.
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